NYC Midnight Short Story Competition 2009 Entry
Things you need to know before you read the story:The story had to be written in eight days and be no longer than 2,500 words.
Let me know what you think.
Enjoy!
Frank sat by his castle door watching the clock tick second by ghastly second, tick….tick....tick. Frank knew any second that she would be there, any second the woman of his dreams would waltz in that door and they would be free to live their lives happily ever after. Any second that door would swing open, He would see her for the first time with his own eyes, not just the pictures she had sent him over Monsterspace.com, their tag line was “A place for fiends,” but everybody knew it was just a glorified dating service. Frank had to be careful about meeting someone over the internet, after the whole Monster.com problem, like he was really the first one to think it was for dating, not a site for finding a job. Frank knew that after all the sleepless nights, after all the dreaming about the perfect bride, and after all the horrible dates it would finally all be at an end, any second now their life together would begin.
Frank had asked her to come live with him time and time again, but time and time again she refused, always coming up with new excuses. The first time she had said that she was too young to run away forever, she had been alive less than a week and could barely walk, let alone run away. The second time she said that her father would never allow her to marry anyone that he did not have his stamp of approval, grade A. The last time she told frank that she was waiting for a new part to come in, it seemed that she had a few rusty bolts that were becoming quite the problem. So Frank gave up, he dropped the whole thing and decided that if she did not want to be with him that was fine, he had other options.
One night in mid October Frank had asked an adorable little vampire out that he had met at “The Black Lagoon,” a bar not too, far from Frank’s Castle. Everything seemed to be going fine until dinner. Frank suggested that they go out for steaks, to which she nearly flew out the car at, not realizing that Frank meant the food, not that he intended to plunge a sharpened two-by-four into her chest. Later when Frank suggested that they get home before it got to late she insisted on driving to Lookout Point, Frank knew why people went to the point, but he was not about to take such a step on the first date. Frank agreed to go but only if she promised it would not go beyond talking, she did. The second they got their however her intentions became abundantly clear. She was just there to neck. Frank pushed her away “What do you think I am? Some kind of Mr. Hyde?” but she was persistent. A little too persistent, she didn’t notice that it had gotten to be much later then she knew and dawn was starting to peak out over the horizon. Then all of the sudden POOF! all that remained was a steaming pile of dust and ash. Frank knew it was never meant to be, there was only one girl for him, a girl that didn’t need a wet/dry Vacuum if she got a little sun.
Frank had everything planned out to the last detail. She would arrive, he would escort her into the main dining hall where they would feast on her favorite meal, submarine sandwiches, they were both a little weary of fire, so they would have no one to light the oven, a home cooked meal would be out of the question, but he didn’t mind. He would have her favorite song playing; he had purchased the Monster Mash off Igor-tunes earlier that day. He would have a hundred candles, all screw in orange bulbs, in as many candelabras as he could find in the attic. It would all be perfect, it had to be, Tonight Frank was going to have his bride, the bride of Frank; he liked the sound of that. But, first she had to arrive. Tick….Tick….Tick….
Frank looked in the mirror and realized that he needed to shave. A furry face always made him think about December, when he gave up on shaving entirely. December was when she told Frank that she would miss her home too much, she would miss all the old familiar smells, and sounds, she was a couple months old and was not ready to leave everything she knew behind. She was seeing a nice doctor, Dr. Pretorius, and Frank knew right then all, he could do was try to be as good a friend as he knew how to be and hope that one day she would love him the way he loved her.
It was January that Frank had his second first date. Her name was Abigail. She was his boss, Mr. Wolf’s daughter. Frank was too nice, and a little embarrassed, to say that his heart belonged to someone he had never even met before face to face. He agreed to one date, maybe it was the kick in the pants Frank needed to fall for a girl that he could actually touch. Frank arrived promptly at eight, he worried he might be late, having done one last vacuum job to get all of his late date out of the carpet and upholstery. As Frank approached the door, he noticed a note. “Come on in I am just doing a few finishing touches, yell up to me when you get here xoxo - Abby.” Frank didn’t feel comfortable just walking into someone else’s house but he was expected so in he let himself in.
“Hello? Abby are you home? It’s me Frank, your note said to,” before he could finish his sentence he was interrupted by a slightly gravelly yet still feminine voice.
“Hi Frank, I should not be too much longer just make yourself at home.” Frank was not used to all this primping and getting ready of a lady, he had grown up in a castle of all men, just him, the Doc, and Igor, none of which were the object of any ladies attention. Frank spotted a comfy looking recliner with a small little end table adjacent to it with two bowls, one with potato chips, one a delicious looking ranch dip. Frank never being one to turn down chips and dips, or a big comfy chair, he decided to have himself a seat. As Frank lowered himself into the seat two revelations came to his mind, one this chair was made to support someone about half his size, the first clue was the sound of snapping wood as his butt hit the floor under a pile of what used to be the comfy looking recliner. The second revelation however made Franks already rumbling stomach start to turn in disgust, a long hair sticking straight out of the dip. Frank always trying to be a gentleman and not ever wanting to offend, removed the protruding hair, which Frank now realized was a good foot if it was an inch. Frank hadn’t realized it in all the commotion between the chair, the hair, and the rumble which seemed too only be getting worse, it had been over an hour since he had arrived, Frank called up, “How’s it going up there?”
“Great!” Abby replied, “I am almost done, I promise. If you want there are drinks in the fridge feel free.”
Frank knew he could use a drink, settle his nerves a bit. He headed to the kitchen, opened up the fridge, and grabbed a Bloodwiser from the top shelf. It was not till after he took a sip that he realized, this was not a Bloodwiser Frank had in his hand, it was Kruger’s light, a new wet dog chow for those with the K-9 bite. Frank knew he was going to be sick, he set the bottle in the trash, started to cough but was able to keep his lunch down where it belonged, mostly because at this point his stomach was so empty that he almost welcomed the taste of some kind of meat, if what he had just drank could actually be considered meat. It had been three hours and Frank was getting pretty fed up with waiting. “You think your going to be much longer?” Frank called up? “It is getting pretty late.”
“Sorry to make you wait so long Frank.” Abby said in a very apologetic, yet still gravely tone. “I decided to give myself a perm. You would not believe how hard it is to get more than one hundred curlers off your back.”
On the way home Frank wondered to himself if it was rude to just walk out on a date that never got a chance to get started, but as he bit into his Double Drac with Cheese burger and large side of zombie fries; he knew Mr. Wolf would just have to get over it.
Frank spent the next few months trying to get out and forget the women he knew he was meant to be with but wondered if he could ever have. He went out with the invisible woman, but kept getting slapped, when he tried to help with her seat belt. Frank went out with Mrs. Mummy, but her kids were too much to handle. He tried a date with the newly separated wife of the Phantom of the opera, but got really sick of hearing, “I’ll be watching you,” by the Police, being piped through an organ everywhere they went. Frank was done, if he could not be with the love of his life he would just give up on dating all the neighborhood monsters, he knew they would never be what he was looking for.
Frank tried and tried but the more time that passed and the more he tried to forget about her, he knew there would never be anyone that Frank would ever want to be with. That night Frank made up his mind. He was done asking, he was done begging, he was done trying to convince her that he was the only one for her too, he would put his foot down and order her to come live with him, be his bride, and make a life together. “But how do you order a woman to do what you want?” Frank wondered aloud. Then it hit him like a tone of bricks. He would “Ghoooul” it.
He jumped on his laboratory top computer and in the search bar typed in “How to order a bride to come live with you?” and with a click of the mouse frank had his answer, 26,120,982 results, and right on top, in big bold print, “ORDER YOUR BRIDE! DELIVERED RIGHT TO YOUR HOME! Build-A-Bride.com” Frank had it, he could order her to come live with him, order her to be his bride, and she would be delivered right to his door, what more could he ask for? All he needed was his Transylvania express card and she would be on her way.
And so here he was, waiting by the door the clock tick….tick….tick…. Frank was ready to burst at the thought that at any second the doorbell would ring and she would be his forever. Franks mind started to wander as he started to imagine the life they would share, the wrought iron fence that would surround their dream castle. The pitter patter of little monster feet, and then one day they would retire to the Florida swamps. But for now all Frank had was the tick….tick….tick….ding-dong.
Franks heart began to beat at a feverish speed. She was finally here. He had flowers all ready for her, no help from that little girl. He was wearing his beast shirt and coat; he had his hair combed and neat, he had his bolts in tight, and his battery fully charged, he was ready, she was here forever. Frank flung the door open. A small wiry looking fellow stood in the doorway with a clipboard and a pen.
“Delivery for a Mr. N. Stein?” the small delivery man said.
“Yes, yes that’s me!” Frank said, barely able to contain his excitement that she was finally here.
“All right Mr. Stein, let me just get the box off the truck and we’ll be all set.” The delivery man said enthusiastically.
“Off the truck?” frank thought, “Not even the courtesy to let the poor gal ride shotgun. But the thought quickly made way to the excitement of realizing that this was it second from the woman of his dreams, seconds away from the life he had been dreaming about, seconds away from, a six-foot tall box on a dolly? Frank looked in shock and disbelief that his bride was sent to him in a crate. How could they? Vampires had more room when they traveled.
“Here ya are sir enjoy! And thank you for shopping with build-a-bride.com” the small man said as he dropped the box with a thud at Frank’s feet.
Frank circled the box for a moment in disbelief and wonder. “Well I guess I should get her out of there?” Frank thought “Hang on sweetie I will have you out in a jiffy!” Frank grabbed a crowbar from the closet and went to work. He carefully opened the top of the box not wanting to hurt the precious cargo that it contained. As Frank pried a small gap, he was startled as packing peanuts started falling out of the box. Frank started to panic realizing that between the enclosed box and the packing peanuts she was likely unable to breathe. His hands moved faster and faster frantically trying to get her out as fast as he could, hoping it was not too late. Using his hands as eyes searching for any sign of life, that’s when he felt it, flesh, ice cold flesh, Frank quickly grabbed the flesh of what he quickly realized was an arm and pulled with all his might. It was not until it was out of the box and in his hands that Frank realized all he held in his hand was a woman’s arm. He quickly searched the box, another arm, a pair of legs, a torso, and a head. What kind of horrible joke was this; they had cut her up and sent the pieces. Frank wanted to faint but held his composure. Then he noticed the corner of a paper, he pulled it out and started to read.
Congratulations on your choice to buy the elite Build-A-Bride.com mail order bride. Thank you for your order. “Some Assembly Required”
It was at that moment Frank realized there had been a mistake; this would become the Bride of Frank N. Stein, if only he had a screwdriver.
